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Recall a time when you were involved with a conflict in the workplace or witnessed a conflict at work. This situation should be one that involves a relationship of some kind (i.e. manager-employee, employee-employee, etc.) where a conflict occurred. Think about how this experience could have been improved if you had a mentor or coach to help you through the situation.
I recall observing a significant conflict between a manager and an employee in a team I was part of—a classic manager-employee relationship conflict rooted in differing priorities and communication styles.
The conflict involved Sarah, a highly capable software engineer, and Mark, her project manager.
Sarah’s View (Employee): Sarah was tasked with fixing a complex, persistent bug that was impacting customer experience (a crucial quality issue). She believed this task required her undivided focus for a week to solve properly and sustainably.
Mark’s View (Manager): Mark was under pressure from senior leadership to launch a new feature with a hard deadline (a crucial business priority). He repeatedly pulled Sarah off the bug fix to perform smaller, urgent tasks related to the feature launch, effectively interrupting her deep work multiple times a day.
The Conflict: Sarah eventually pushed back strongly, accusing Mark of micromanaging and undermining her ability to do complex work, stating, "I can't solve anything if you keep treating me like an hourly task robot!" Mark, feeling disrespected and stressed by the deadline, responded that she needed to prioritize the business's needs over her "pet project" (the bug fix). The conflict resulted in a strained relationship, missed deadlines for both the bug fix and the feature, and a significant drop in Sarah's morale.
If I (or Sarah) had access to a mentor or coach, the outcome and the process could have been vastly improved by addressing the conflict at three critical stages:
1. Pre-Conflict: Identifying the Root Cause and Communication Styles
Mentor/Coach Role: A mentor could have met with Mark and Sarah separately to help them identify their respective conflict management styles (e.g., Sarah favoring avoiding until she exploded, Mark favoring competing due to external pressure).