The paper is already written by I need it revised. It's an English business paper. Here's the instruction from my instructor for the revision:
"While you do present a summary, it’s not formatted using the SRR technique that I described in the briefing. It’s where you divide the conent into sections and use headings for each section so that the audience can scan the document before they read it.
"Also, were you clear on the assignment? You were to imagine you were hired by a non-profit organization and this was to be an executive summary of an issue involving that organization. What’s the organization? The issue is apparently the need for a student of dementia patients, but why would that be important for that organization? And why are you focusing on the United Kingdom? Do you have family there? If so, what’s the organization this is for?"
When writing this paper, please make sure you use the SSRs and the five competencies of business writing.
Scan – Lay out the document using headings, subheadings, paragraph
space and so on, so that your audience can first scan it so that they’ll
know get an idea of what’s going to be presented.
• Read – Write the document so that the audience can engage with the
information and understand what you’re writing.
• Remember – Combine layout and clear message so that the audience will
remember what you wrote.
Professional – Goes without saying. It’s never, “Yo, dude, here’s my
status report” to the company president.
Clear – Short declarative sentences, common words to get the message
across (the “so that”).
Concise – Say what you mean. Use active voice in your writing.
Evidence-Driven – Have all your facts in line and present them.
Persuasive – Remember, you want a “so that,” so you need to persuade
someone to take an action.
Sample Solution